Before we had kids, it felt like every single night of the week was date night! 9 o’clock on a Tuesday, let’s go get ice cream!
Friday night dinner and a movie, absolutely!
No thoughts about it further than what I was going to wear or how quickly we could get out the door.
Then we became parents and everything changed!
Now, I have to say, I definitely am NOT in the club of saying “when you have kids, your life is over”. That just is NOT true, and honestly, when I hear that from someone, it just tells me that they’re being lazy in their relationship with their spouse.
When you have babies, your life changes, that is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT TRUE! You have brought another human life into the world. Will things look a little bit different? Absolutely!
Does that mean that you have to be a martyr to your parenthood and never get to spend any time with your spouse ever again?
NO.
In fact, I would even go so far as to say that if you do abandon your marriage for your parenthood you’re hurting everyone involved. Your kids will suffer because they won’t see a thriving marriage.
Your spouse will suffer because they won’t get your relationship.
You will suffer because you’ll look back 20 years from now and wonder what went wrong.
Marriage is something that you have to always be actively working towards a better and deeper relationship. If you’re not doing that, whether your realize it or not, your marriage is failing and will fall apart eventually.
Dating your spouse is SO incredibly important.
In our home, we make a date night a priority. It’s something that we both look forward to and do NOT feel guilty about.
Guess what. Your kids are completely good if you leave them with someone else for a couple of hours a week. In fact, they’re probably better than good because they’ll have a mom and dad who are MORE in love than they were a few hours before!
But sometimes a date night just can’t happen.
Maybe your kids have a cold, or your sitter canceled, or whatever else.
Guess what. It’s not an excuse to not date your spouse that week.
Enter our secret weapon.
Mini-dates!
You’re probably wondering what in the world is a mini-date?
A mini-date is exactly what it sounds like.
It’s doing something special with your spouse just on a slightly smaller scale.
For me and my husband, we decide on having a mini-date usually the morning of. Then, during the girls nap time Clay will take his lunch break and bring some special treat home with him. I will go out to the car when he gets here and have a baby monitor with me in case the girls wake up.
Then, we sit in the car for about 20 minutes, eat our treats and talk!
It’s the best and I seriously leave our mini-dates just as refreshed as I leave our full evening dates.
Intentionality is what makes a date a date.
Putting on a cute outfit or eating something special or doing an activity together that doesn’t normally happen.
There are so many options to make a mini-date happen!
You could:
- Meet in the car during nap time to have a treat.
- Make a date worthy meal together after your kids go to bed at night.
- Share a dessert in the evening after your kids go to bed.
- Do a workout together outside during nap time.
- Watch a movie in the backyard after your kids go to bed.
- Have an early morning coffee date before your kids wake up.
- Eat a fun take-out lunch together during nap time.
Obviously, you have to figure out what works for your family and your season.
The point is being intentional with your spouse. Actively dating your husband or wife is SO worth it and something that you need to start today!