If you’re reading this, I know it’s because the title popped up on a google search page that you are frantically looking through at 3am when you’re baby will not sleep.
I know what it’s like to walk all over the house trying to help a baby sleep that just can’t because they’re in pain.
I know what it’s like to have all of the lactation consultants, doctors, nurses, and everyone else tell you that nothing is wrong, that some babies are just more high needs than others.
I know what it’s like to go completely out of your mind from sleep deprivation because you haven’t slept in weeks because the only place your baby does not shriek out in pain is upright in your arms.
I know what it’s like to have your baby scream out every time you try to feed them, because they want to eat but it hurts them to drink.
I know.
I’ve been there.
I’m so sorry you are there now.
Our reflux story started from the very beginning of Lucy’s life.
Lucy was born after just a couple hours of being induced. She came quickly and easily. I had a few complications post delivery, but after she was brought back to me, I thought we were all set. This wasn’t my first time becoming a mama, I had done all of this before. We were so excited to have a snuggly little baby again to cuddle!
The first night in the hospital, I was greeted by a baby that instead of nursing contentedly, shrieked so loudly when I tried to feed her that the night nurse would come in to make sure everything was okay. When she would finally latch, she would eat and then after she was done would not be laid down. I could not set her down in the hospital bassinet without her crying loudly, so I ended up using the nursery both nights we were there.
After we got home I thought things would probably settle down.
Our first evening, I nursed her about 10 o’clock and then swaddled her. I laid her in the bassinet beside our bed, and she screamed her head off. I would pick her up, get her settled down and then try again. The same thing. Screams. She could not be set down at all.
In my completely exhausted state, I didn’t know what to do. We ended up holding her through the night every night for the first week. Sometimes she couldn’t even sleep in our arms, and would scream out even though she was being held or walked or rocked.
If we were able to get her to sleep, the second you moved to set her down she would wake up and the screaming would start all over again.
This is when I started the journey down trying to figure out what was wrong, because I knew something wasn’t right.
Sadly, this is also the time that everyone started telling me that nothing was wrong.
When she was about 2 months old, we made our first big step towards progress.
She had always had trouble nursing, and I had asked the lactation consultant at the hospital about tongue ties. Rosy had been tongue tied and they had clipped it at birth, and she was an excellent eater. The lactation consultant told me (without even looking at her mouth) that if I wasn’t sore, than she wasn’t tongue tied.
I listened to her and that was a mistake.
It turns out, she was both lip tied and tongue tied. We had her lip tie released and she nursed a little bit better, a few weeks later we had her posterior tongue tie released and that’s when nursing became a bit easier. Her latch improved drastically.
Since she hadn’t been able to nurse effectively for so long, I had an extreme amount of oversupply and a very fast let down. She would choke and sputter while she ate because the milk was just too fast! She also never emptied the breast so she was never getting the fattier more satisfying milk because there was literally enough for triplets.
During all of this time we tried all of the at-home treatments we could find.
We kept her upright almost all of the time and especially after she ate. I fed her only on one side every 6-8 hours so that my milk supply would decrease. I burped her often and fed her smaller more frequent meals.
Every single nap during the day, she took upright in the Solly wrap. This was literally the only place she slept comfortably. She could sleep wrapped to me for hours and hours. Which was great for the day time but I had to sleep too at some point!
Nothing worked. Our baby was miserable and could not sleep apart from me. So, we hadn’t slept in months. It got so bad that I could not sleep even during the few hours she was sleeping because I was terrified of when she would wake up.
I couldn’t just nurse her and put her back down, I had to wrestle a screaming hungry baby to latch and then bounce around the room in order for her to eat something. Sometimes I could only get her to eat 1 or 2 minutes before she would completely refuse.
It was heartbreaking and so hard.
That’s when we finally decided it was time to try medication.
At this point, our doctors office was not convinced she had reflux because she was gaining weight. She also didn’t spit up. It was silent reflux, so the acid would come up into her throat and then she would swallow it back down. You could see her do this throughout the day.
She also had hiccups almost constantly and foamed around her mouth. All of that put together with her sleeping and eating issues I knew that she had silent reflux.
They agreed to start her on Pepcid. She took 4 doses of it before she had such bad gas and stomach pain that she was a different baby. She ate more willingly now, which let me know that the acid was more controlled, but she was in pain in other ways.
We took her off of that medicine and switched to the stronger class of GERD drugs (PPI’s). She started taking Prevacid Solutabs. I read about there being an acid battle when you start PPI’s and giving it a 2 week period to get worse before it gets better.
It definitely got worse. Then it got a little better. We started weaning her off of the Prevacid around 5 months and things got worse again. So, we started giving her the full dose again first thing in the morning. We also waited 30 minutes after giving her the medicine before she would nurse. Finally, it helped.
It was not a miracle drug by any means, but it enabled her to sleep a little bit better and she nursed without screaming most of the time.
Now, she is a chunky and delightful 6.5 month old.
We are weaning her off of the medicine and hopefully things will stay as positive as they have been! She is (mostly) sleeping through the night now and while she still has to eat in a dark and quiet room, she doesn’t cry when it’s time to nurse.
I still have a lot of trouble sleeping because I lived in a constant state of sleep deprivation for so long, but that will straighten itself out soon.
Silent reflux is so incredibly hard on a family.
You can do this.
You will get through this.
Seek out help.
Advocate for yourself and your baby.
Try medication (or don’t!)
Follow your gut, mama, you are the one who knows your baby the best.