Instagram.
Most of the world loves it. Or, at least is addicted to it.
I remember I signed up for my account back in college in 2013. It wasn’t the media giant it is today, and it was mostly used to share random low quality pictures of your coffee or breakfast.
I had an iPhone 4s at the time, and the picture quality was grainy at best. One step above a flip phone, but nowhere near the high quality resolution images that you can get on a phone today.
Through that summer, I used it a little bit while I worked at a summer camp and it was a fun place to show off the pictures that I didn’t want to share with all of the world on Facebook. It seemed like my own little private corner of the internet that I could look at every now and then.
Fast forward 5 years to 2018 when I became a mama.
Instagram was huge.
I checked it (and so did everyone I knew) multiple times a day if not multiple times an hour.
Notifications were never on for me, but that didn’t matter, my thumb compulsively went to the little camera icon all. of. the. time.
Seriously.
I would be nursing my newborn baby in the middle of the night, check instagram.
Waiting in the car for my husband to come out of a store, check instagram.
As soon as I open my eyes in the morning, check instagram.
The funny thing was, I thought I wasn’t that bad.
I wasn’t on my phone all of the time like some people I knew, I didn’t have on notifications, I didn’t feel the need to “get” followers like the teenagers I had recently taught high school math.
I’m not addicted. No way… so I thought.
I had deleted Facebook back in 2016 right after I got married.
After moving away from everyone I knew and building a new life in a new place, it had turned into an unhealthy place for me.
Again, I wasn’t addicted to it either, I just found that I would be more emotionally down than I was when I logged in after a few minutes. That was enough for me. I didn’t have any time or desire in my life to feel the tug of discontentment.
So, I deactivated my account and never looked back.
I started feeling that same nudge in regards to Instagram when I got pregnant with my 2nd baby.
There were a few things that clued me into the idea that it wasn’t the healthiest spot for me.
When I would scroll instagram, I would find myself almost ignoring my baby.
Not really, ignoring her, but I would be looking into a screen instead of talking into her sweet coo’s or reading a book to her on the floor.
Scrolling quickly escalated into shopping.
I would be perfectly content with my 10 month olds wardrobe until I saw another moms post with their baby in some other outfit. That would turn into a google search, which would lead to items in an online cart.
I didn’t need anything that I was being let to buy while looking on instagram. This habit really let me to notice the next issue.
I was generally feeling discontent.
My couch, kitchen appliances, bedding, hair products, sneakers, you name it were all perfectly fine until I was sucked into the marketing mecca that is instagram.
I would see sponsored content without realizing it or just an ad that popped up in my scroll and instantly feel that familiar feeling of discontentment.
That was not a feeling that I liked. I found that if I went a couple of days without checking my account those worries went away. I was less worried about replacing the picture frames in our bedroom, or finding new patio furniture.
My contentment level just increased. I liked what I had, was more thankful for it, and less motivated to replace it with something better.
Those 3 things alone were enough for me to delete the app on my phone.
These don’t mention the endless time suck it was on my time. The endless mental comparison game that I had struggled with in different seasons. The unhealthy effect it probably had on my sleep (hello, blue light in bed!)
Overall, instagram wasn’t helping me be a better wife or mama and I just don’t have time for that anymore.
There are hundreds of things that will serve my family better with the time that I could have spent scrolling.
Baking muffins as a treat for my girls.
Reading my Bible and spending time with the Lord.
Working on this website and sharing content that I’m passionate about.
Talking with my husband.
Calling a friend and really reconnecting and encouraging one another.
Playing with my baby girls being completely present.
Going on walks.
I could go on and on and on.
This is what the last half of 2019 and 2020 has looked like for me. I’m not going back.
Have I felt lonely or disconnected without being able to see what people are up to?
Honestly, the opposite.
I wasn’t really connecting with people on instagram, just creepily watching their lives play out. It’s really weird when I really stop to think about it.
Commenting just wasn’t the same as really having a good chat or even a text conversation.
I did download the app one more time, the day after the birth of our second daughter. I just figured in this day in age, there was no other way to get the announcement of her birth out into the world.
Will I download the app for the birth of our next children? Probably not.
The people who are really invested in my life will talk to me in real life to find out what has happened and how our family has grown.
I literally reach out to people more to find out what they’re up to now, and those real conversations are much more life giving than seeing a short instagram story ever was for me.
How do I keep up with who is pregnant/engaged/married?
I don’t! If someone wants me to know that they are having a baby or that they bought a house, they have to tell me!
It seriously took away a lot of the guilt that I didn’t realize I was feeling too. If I saw someone was pregnant or some other life change and I somehow missed their announcement a few months ago I felt terrible for not congratulating them.
That guilt is gone! It also makes for some really fun grocery trips when I see someone is pregnant or engaged and I didn’t know!
How do I share what’s going on in our lives?
Here’s a crazy thought. I don’t!
For a long time, I felt like I had to be validated by other people on my social media accounts during all of my life changes.
We all like likes and get some level of enjoyment from them. That’s why all of these social media platforms work. Everyone enjoys being liked or praised.
By not posting what were big life events on any account, I learned that I didn’t have to be validated by anyone else!
SO FREEING!
If you need me, I’ll be hanging out with my family without the constant urge to constantly scroll on my phone.
See ya, instagram. You just weren’t the right fit for this mama. I’ll keep spending time with my girls and cute husband this year (and like 50+ more!)